Husbands

566.  "Husbands"                     July 19, 2012
1 Peter 3-Part 4
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life: that your prayers be not hindered.  1 Peter 3:7


LET IT GLOW

Husbands-got ta love 'um.
If I am being the kind of wife Peter talked about in our previous lesson, then chances are my husband will be the kind described in verse 7. What did I learn about being a wife? I am to trust God, submit to my own husband, have a gentle and quiet spirit, and have an honorable appearance (hair, jewelry, dress). If you missed that lesson, then catch up girl. It is worth your time.

When I think of the differences of men and women, they are as different as night and day. Why are men so different? God made them that way. Maybe women are the different ones, since man was created last. Just a thought. Girls, I'm going to share what I have learned over the years. Maybe it will help a young wife.

Shaunti Feldhahn, in her book, For Women Only, concluded this about most men after 400 completed a survey:

• Men need respect. They need to be respected for who they are, apart from how they do. Respect his judgment, abilities, in communication, in public, in our assumptions.
• Men feel insecure. They feel like impostors and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered. Affirmation is everything; let him know he's the greatest, number one. If a man know that his wife believes in him, he is empowered to do better in every area of his life.
• Men are providers. Providing is at the core of a man's identity. It is a way they say "I love you." Providing accompanies his need to succeed. It carries an ongoing risk of failure. Providing means earning enough for both present and future. What to do: reconsider existing areas of conflict (smaller house), help relieve the pressure, encourage and appreciate him.
• Men want more sex. Sex effects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life. It fills a powerful emotional need. Sex make him feel loved and desired. Fulfilling sex gives him confidence. It removes loneliness. Choose to love him in the way he needs. Learn his signals, get involved, make it a priority.
• Men are visual. He can't not want to look. Men have a mental Rolodex of sensual images. (The eye magnet is a woman showing off her body. Images are stored, not removed.) These images and thoughts arrive involuntarily. His physical impulse is to enjoy the feelings associated with them. He can choose to dwell on the images and thoughts, or dismiss them. Be reassurred: his temptation isn't often primarily sexual; every man is different; it's not because of you; it doesn't impact his feelings for you. Help him during his HALT-Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired times.
• Men are unromantic clods. They enjoy romance, want to be romantic, but hesitate because they doubt they can succeed. Playing together is romantic to him. Join him in what he likes to do-sports, tv, walk, music. Romance without sex may not feel complete to him. Encourage him, entice him,  keep hubby number one.
• Men care about appearance. He needs to see you making an effort to take care of yourself. It makes him feel loved and cared for, valued and happy. He wants to be proud of you.

There we have it ladies, ways to better understand your husband and please him. Am I?

LET IT GROW

Getting back to Peter, what does he say to the husband?

• Live with your wife. Settle in, be at home, be comfortable around her.
• Know your wife. Marriage is like a volt-it only opens to one person. Understand her fears, dreams, likes.
• Honor your wife. Show her sespect by listening to her, pay attention, and ask why she is crying or upset.

[Reference: Charles Swindoll]

Others add further meaning to verse 7:

The husband is the leader, and yet he must also submit in humility, not to his wife, but to the good of the marriage. The grace of life is the inheritance which has been received together. If a husband doesn't give honor to the wife, prayers will be hindered.  (Falwell)

She is physically weaker, so recognize her limitations and don't expect more than is appropriate. Love, honor, understand your wife.   (Guzik)

Speak well of your wife, be respectful to her, by deeds as well as words. (Gill)

Am I being a helper or a hindrance to my husband? Is my love for him growing or is is stagnating?

LET IT GO

Be the Christian that glorifies God.

Serve my husband.

Respect, affirm, appreaciate, and love my husband.

Make him the number one guy in my life. (God is always first.)